In my last post I wrote about meeting my dark inner self again, because lately I’ve still had some triggers that lead me to minor anxiety attacks and fluctuations from a negative mind to a positive mind. I now understand that the triggers I get, are the small signs to things I need to put my attention towards and work on. In other words, another exciting weekend of digging, crying and developing!
So, for a long time now I’ve had these wierd dreams about chaotic, wild oceans and that I always have to get from A to B, but with a time-limit. I don’t know exactly what it means, or if it means anything at all, but I think it could be linked to me being constantly under pressure in my every day life. I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a break break. And things have been a mess for some years, so I guess there’s still some underlying chaos in me.
Another thing is that I have these to theories emerging, that I have two egos I need to work on; “The Achiever” and “The Good girl”. Still until this day, I’m a people pleaser. I do whatever others expect of me. Most likely because I want others to be happy or I’d feel like a failure if I said no. Just some theories, but I think they are the deepest and most crucial ones until now, as they’ve been integrated in my life since I was a child.
Basically, I’m going to dive more into these things from now on, as I’m still getting triggered. And of course, I still need to work on my place in the world, as I’ve accepted I had a fake self-image for a decade. Sooooo, let’s rock and roll!